First, I don't expect that anyone will read this, so I can just let loose or in other words use this as a springboard to finally culminate my thoughts and experiences. Also, I am not all that computer savvy, so keeping it simple here is my forte', another way of saying, I am an older person playing with young folks toys.
From the onset, I will bluntly say, others are involved with all this, yours and my changes. Call them what you will, I am sure they don't give a rats ass what you say, whether they be on a spiritual or an alien plane of existence. I have heard a voice or two when young, always assisting when needed, but only a few times so I am not schizophrenic, but neither am I normal. I have always been psychic and played quiet games, some dangerous some just inane.
A few examples of this just for clarification. I can tell when an engine like a lawnmower or generator is about to run out of gas, or know how many students were in a room and count the papers out without looking first and be right. I would fly an airplane without a fuel gauge and know when it was time to land and refuel, this was the dangerous part! I could tell when a cop was ahead using radar and slow down. Other times a voice within would warn me of more dangerous things like animals in the road at night. This list is extensive, but points out that I am like many others have abilities beyond that which is normal. These may be in the DNA as it was passed down to my Daughter and now to her son whom is very much like myself, more on that later, but as a teaser, he has confronted what some may call an ET or demon and been hurt by this entity.
Now this brings me to the level where I must sort out what I am dealing with, other than my own changes which are like a game being played from the other side while all the while sorting out prophecy and dreams with visions thrown in for the hell of it. It reminds me of the Greek Gods looking down on the mortals messing with our lives.
I consider this life to be a journey or leaning experience and the others to be from multiple dimensions, some close to this and some not, perhaps of a higher type some refer to angels and others Gods, I don't use either term. I have in a vision, stood beside a being of great power, like a father which I did not see, but was aware of and the love that came from it was humbling. I embrace no religion, for to do so is like going into a dark room and having another describe a sunset, but not allowing you to observe what he supposedly sees.
For the skeptic, I will put out a brief summary of my childhood just so you can proclaim, "see, he is screwed up due to his upbringing". I survived my first 10-11 years by being kidnapped by a drunken, bitter father from a loving family out of a proclaimed revenge and hatred of women. This he taught us over and over in bar rooms well into the mornings when we should have been sleeping. I have since only did the opposite of what he taught me, lol. I hope he reaped satisfaction, but he almost destroyed two young boys in the process. I was in at least 22 foster homes, and a couple of orphanages, starved abused and almost died of this before being taken in by a couple of very poor farmers. Along the way, I and a now my defunct Brother continued our battle with myself almost being killed several times by him until he ran away at the 10th grade level, a final release. Somehow, I made it into college and became an educator. So know, I came from a rough background, well on my way to becoming a criminal in the 5th grade, but destined to die due to lack of food within months anyhow, so this would not have occurred.
You may wonder why I mention this about my childhood, which is a book in itself? Well, what we are as a child, sets the stage for what we are throughout life. I had to remain agile of mind in order to maintain identity, and anyone knowing psychology, knows children whom make it from these backgrounds are super kids, they are survivors, this not to brag, but we are always humble and thankful for what we have, not assuming a great deal in life, always open, knowing our reality is but an illusion. The flip side of this, is our own spirituality becomes open to us, we see our destiny, we know that some things are needed for our growth, but unfortunately this does not happen with many, they fail. Now I will attempt to explain this awakening of the last three or more years, yet knowing the groundwork was done throughout my life. I will start with my present wife, my first whom is still a good friend, but we were miles apart on our energy levels.
I was at a point in life where I could not exist in the frustration of life as I was living it, alone in all ways, yet living a life with someone whom was not a part of what I was becoming, this twenty three plus years ago. I had one of those dreams where I was awakened, and then shown this woman walking out of an adjoining room. The room was white, the light was white and I was in a somewhat darkened room. This part is like science fiction, but it will make sense more later. The place did not look like a house, but rather sculpted, like a machine or the interior of a ship. I had remained celibate and away from women for twelve plus years at this point in my life, determined to just get through this experiences as best I could, so when this silhouette of this wild haired creature came through this door and embraced me in love, it threw my into another world, I was in love with her, but did not know whom she was.
At this point, I sat bolt upright in bed and asked aloud, "who is she", I longed for her like I knew her and our parting left me empty inside, such loneliness I had never directed at anyone before this time. Out of the blue, for the third time in my life, a voice, one that was of course disembodied and I am not sure I heard it with my ears, but it seemed so, told me. "She is your girlfriend, your wife". This was short and without any frills, a message that left me confused until the last two years. I was married to another at the time, without any intention of having another, either a girlfriend or another wife, so this event was consigned to the background in my mind.
Now fast forward to last year when my wife was again relating an event of the other people and in this one, she told me of herself, her sister and I, sitting in this small white room with two of the others, both blondish red haired women whom were teaching us something. One was in charge and the other was silent. It hit me then for some reason the old memory of my girlfriend/wife vision as being not a vision, but a memory and it floored me, as the memory then came flooding in. We two it seems were together on occasions back then on this level or another, like partners or team members, as well as on a more intimate level as well. What is funny here, is we go to a local brewery and one of the waitresses there, a pretty young woman looks like one of the women whom talked to us that night, somewhere? I must clarify that along the way, one evening after she and I were married, she came into the room with a light behind her, and I remembered the vision and it was her, my new wife. You the reader will understand this, it is like knowing a friend from a distance at night by the silhouette, you can identify shadows even.
Before I leave this part which ties into the rest of our story of dreams and so forth, I will relate an event where I was determined to make my life continue as it was, lonely and all, but safe and predictable, my present wife and I were dating at that time.
On that night, I went home, I pulled up my easy chair near the wood stove, lay back and built my determination to end our dating and romance, it was far too complicated and took far to much of my energy to maintain, it was going to end that night and I am a stubborn man of my word. The next several minutes were profound and way beyond dreams, in fact it was way too powerful and full of intent. I must have dozed off, but then I was in this vision which is not a dream for I have both and I can sort them out, see my history here. I saw her and I, together as one, we were as Siamese twins joined at the front. I had in my hand a large knife and was determined to cut myself away from her, cutting the flesh that joined us repeatedly, only to have it regrow, over and over until I had to give up in exhaustion. I was also told in no uncertain terms, she and I would have to remain together and that I was not to screw it up. I knew then, the vision was controlled from somewhere else as a lesson.
